I have a problem

I realized a short time ago that I am hopelessly addicted to the Food Network. This is quite possibly the greatest channel ever in existence and so now I shall lay out for you my top 10 Food Network shows/personalities.

1. Everyday Italian
Not only is Giada de Laurentiis smokin’ hot, but she makes really great food.

2. Ricardo and Friends
See, it’s not all about the women. Ricardo has so much energy and vibrance when he cooks it makes me want to flambé household objects just to be in the kitchen. His French accent rules and his food is elegantly simple.

3. Iron Chef America
Now instead of engaging in a healthy round of schaudenfreude while watching the cheesy excesses of the original Iron Chef, I am watching ICA because it is highly entertaining and endlessly inspiring. Only if they would get rid of Alton Brown (his show, Good Eats, being conspicuously absent from this list).

4. Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
This is the show where famed British chef Gordon Ramsay helps struggling restaurants figure out why their business is failing and gets them back on track. Which is to say it involves ubiquitous use of the f-word (to the point of irrelevance) and absolute emotional annihilation of the failing chef. My gosh is it great TV.

5. Sugar
Anna Olson is also beautiful, but not so much as her succulent creations (she is a pastry chef and so makes all things sweet).

6. Nigella Lawson
Whenever I get a glimpse of her I remember why I love women with curves. Besides, she puts so much passion into cooking, you wonder if she has any left over for her husband.

7. Chef At Home
I only wish that I could create the same masterpieces without a recipe as Chef Michael Smith. Although, if I had a pantry so stocked as his, it would be much easier.

8. 30-Minute Meals
Although Rachael Ray can be nauseatingly annoying, there is something about her show that is strangely intriguing. Mostly it is the thought of concocting anything edible in 30 minutes. This for me is a completely foreign concept. Ask Sarah.

9. Paula’s Home Cooking
Yes, she is a prototypical Southerner, with charm, hospitality, and the funky accent. But it is her food and her kitchen that get me every time. Her kitchen is so freakin’ cool. Just take a look if you ever watch it. And anyone that uses a pound of butter in pretty much everything she makes is fantastic in my books.

10. Restaurant Makeover
Although I know Sarah hates this show, I just love it. It is the perfect mix of renovation, makeover, and food concoctions.

Well , there it is. I know mom will be horrified I did not include Barefoot Contessa, but she just doesn’t do much for me. Oh, and This Food, That Wine, and Good Eats are quite possibly the crappiest food shows ever made.